Overlap

Back home, happy, ready to move on from 2014. Sputnik Sweetheart finished.

Wrestling with this cymbal bag! NYE cracker done, presents wrapped. The end of the cymbal bag seems like it could just be over the horizon.... 4 days of epic madness with The Lady! Christmas roast for NYE, Salmon and Phillie cracker starters with Champagne (Amiculum laid to rest), Thyme and rosemary chicken mains with all the vegetables, Home-baked Apple crumble dessert with custard :) Fireworks!! Sparklers! Presents! Long exposure experiments and awesome shots :) Introduction to Jeeves and Wooster, Mind your language, Scandal, West Wing, Shakespeare's animated tales!! Armageddon clips on Youtube. Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaimon Good Omens on BBC radio.

Cymbal bag FINALLY done, with much needed help! Rivets!

And here endeth 2014.

1,2, skip a few, 2014, 2015!>>>

Christmas!

New squash league season - first league game won!! Second league game won!! Awfully sore back now though.... Christmas with the Harringtons, Julio Caesar and George Orson Welles in 'who's in the bag'. Watched episode 1 of Black mirror on Ch's absolute insistence. Bought a Haruki Marukami book - Sputnik Sweetheart. Engrossed. Painted with little F, made magic on the ceiling with glow-in-the-dark paint, restretched R's mom's painting on canvas frame. Last two episodes of Cabin Pressure on BBC radio.

HOW DID CHRISTMAS GET THIS CLOSE

Annual Return filed JUST in time, Dissolution papers filled in and sent off. Evening with Ch in Byron Burgers, Islington - pure awesome. Spent the afternoon ambling around Oxford Circus with Esh, starting our inner city adventure! Sunday in Chislehurst with J and O, visiting the caves! Cancelled last of the squash season games due to injury from playing against D. Christmas lunch with Ams and the gang - Cross Stitch Bitch! Anna Calvi at St John's church in Hackney was spectacular. More clarity and some firm decisions. Honest, open talk with SP.

Night out with Sh, Na, Jo and Esh at the BFI bar. Red wine, fags and conversation about about being in love with more than one person at a time. Chatting to Na about William Kentridge. Working on finishing the holiday calendar. Dinner with Su at a moroccan restaurant in Bond street. Amiculum christmas after-party. Open wounds, guilt and regret pouring out. Trying to heal it with a promise to myself that I won't be going back.

This week

4 days of sin continues! Christmas at Ben & Cam's. The Godfather live. Behance portfolio update. Squash against Dan - vast improvement. Broadway Market street with Mel. Dreams. Madnella accounts closed off. 20% growth from last year! Lamb tagine with my Miss. Galaxy Quest and THE FALL penultimate episode.

Last week

Impressionist soft pastel drawing of mom's garden. 100ft journey at the V&A Waterfront, interrupted by load shedding and a race to get out of the shopping mall before everyone else. Chinese dinner with R, B, mom and C - went... well! Sunday morning geological jaunt on table mountain. Barbara Hendricks in Kirstenbosch with the National Youth Orchestra, and Archbishop Desmond Tutu in attendance.

CHRISTMAS KAROO LAMBSCAPE. Yoga Tuesday morning. Art in the forest pottery studio, and sorting the Gibello canvasses for mom's lounge.

Dad at airport. Arrive home safely, 4 days of sinful behaviour commences! FINALLY FOUND THAT TREE. The Fall with Gillian Anderson....

Such great heights

Leave Sutherland early to stay over in Belair Country Home in Paarl. SINGING LOUDLY in the car! Beautiful. Open outdoors shower, lie down on the massage bed under the trees and sleep. Lying on the grass by the pond, trip around the Spice Route, dinner at the pizzeria, outdoors, watching the sun set over Table mountain. The discussion, shouting and tears. More discussions lying by the pool, full english breakfast in the french dining room, pack up and head to the TAAL MONUMENT! AT LAST! Picnic on the grass by the monument, then home. Little Cat is missing :(


Yoga class with Nes at Source, hike in Kenrock to look for LC. No luck :(

Shopping in Tyger valley, far far away. THE CAT RETURNS AS IF NOTHING HAPPENED.

Squash defeat from both sides! Christmas shopping done and dusted. SURFING GLORY. Big Bay the Whole day. Sunburn included. Dinner with Nes and R and mom - Nandos! Listening to piano in the bath.

Space shuttle to the stars

Kirstenbosch lunch, administrative affairs at home. Edward Hopper Cafe almost done! With Bernard's help. Caropoly with nes and R in the study! Ideas for Caropoly 2.0... Sunday surfing attempts on Long Beach. Prawn curry. SPACE SHUTTLE. BEACH DESSERT! Edward Hopper Cafe done! Skype video chat with Esh. Awesome yoga with Catherine! Christmas shopping, Edward Hopper photoshoot. Misunderstandings and tempers flaring over text.


Drive to Sutherland!! (Nes neck spasm) Stop at AQUILA game reserve for a night. Game drive! Leave for Kambrokind Skrywershuisie a day early - accidentally land on gravel road that takes double the time (but is prettier!) Pee in the veld. Sutherland, lamb shank, the SALT and the SAAO observatories, star gazing, sitting on the stoep.

Hoe ek voel

Pescarne restaurant in HoutBay with R, Nes and mom. Squash with mom! Llandudno beach boulder climbing to get the best view of the huge waves.

Hoe ek voel. Kayaking in Sea Point with KasKazi. Saw small dolphins and seals UP CLOSE (like 3 meters away). Found M in the water. Shopping with Nes in Cavendish and then in The Point! Boxing gloves. Yoga and more yoga. The 'dialogue' at the yoga center. Beau Constantia winery, cheese board, canapes and Lucca wine.

Unhappiness over lack of time spent together with my girl. Better now!



Pool, squash, kickboxing at the gym.

Out of this world: Rosetta lands on Comet 67P/Churyumov-Gerasimenko.

The Cape of Good Hope

Edward hopper cafe. Sick in bed for the day. Menlyn, builders warehouse, atterbury value mart metro, face cloths, braai, the emphasis that has shifted. It feels diferent. Talking to my gran, visiting V, Wolfpack with J and C. Dad and The Immigrant. Helen visiting twice. Ocean basket with Ouma. Ruby’s haberdashery, new kettle, new multiplug, Oupa the railway architect. Visitng V again to make up for Saturday's feeling ill.
I want to be stronger. Sharper. I want to be my gran at the core.
Landing in the fair cape. Mom and nes at the airport! SURFING in Big Bay. View of Table Mountain. Sangria.

LHR - JHB

3b saturday morning, house party in the evening. B and C for lunch, pumpkin carving Spidey sunday evening! Monday shopping in Oxford street till late afternoon, lunch with Su. Tuesday more shopping, iphone camera miraculously heals itself in a sunny street off Oxford Circus en route to the Apple store. Shop there anyway - new cover and screen protector now my phone feels brand new. Gardening everywhere! Pack, cook, 4 day visit from Esh, Stab in the dark murder mystery, last league squash match, wednesday morning hapiness sleeping in next to my lady!! LHR, JHB - watched Belle, Amelie, Khumba. Dad and Dew at airport, SP in Rosebank, Ouma and power outtage, mozzies and HEAT! Gautrain bus, Hatfield car with an AUDIO JACK.

Sandton, dad, Protea Balalaika hotel and mom! Bone SA 20th anni, Ana, Tina, Tannie L, Gail, Gilly and Anton, Vivienne, Frank, Prof Louis, WACKHEAD SIMPSON. Fantastic, emotional evening.

Is that ANOTHER WARM WEEKEND??

Drums early on Saturday, session not too bad. Mosey around TCR, Forbidden planet. Cymbal bag phase 3, with all materials now arrived. TRIANGLE EPIPHANY ∆

Made my own salsa:
Cherry tomatoes, onions, parsley, coriander, ginger, BLITZED TOGETHER MOFO. Amazing with basa. El's parents in London for an NHS demonstration.

SNOWBOARD VIDEO DONE, MOFOS!

Sunday afternoon squash with my lady. Jazz at the Grape & Grain FINALLY! Dinner at Kish Mish Persian restaurant. Sherlock Holmes and terry Pratchett on BBC radio.

LONDON INNER CITY ADVENTURE IDEA!

September quiz in the bag ;-)

Watching Dogtown and Z-boys (documentary following Lords of Dogtown movie)

Third squash match done - fairly lost all games! Won the last freeplay one though :) Thai green curry for supper, baking a pumpkin pie at 10pm! Attempting to look at the debris of Haley's comet.

Pistorius gets 5 years.

Suuuuu and Esh in London Bridge Real Greek :-D Leaving do at the Tapestry on Thursday night, LC makes a rare appearance! Last lunch at Pickle & Rye.

Anticlimactic departure. The sky there to say goodbye, as always.

Unexpected productivity

Flu weekend, with sewing (added elastic ankles to my kickboxing pants and finished my SHAWL COLLAR jersey from H&M. Brunch with Su, but had to cancel Ams' birthday drinks in CJ, then my squash match on Sunday, and even kickboxing with Esh. Monday leaving work at 11 after shouting at colleagues. Unexpectedly productive Tuesday off sick - 5 month's expenses receipts backlog cleared up, phonecall with Oumies, Snowboard video in final stages of timeline edit. Raiders bowling cancelled too :(

VIDEO DRAFT 1 DONE! Cymbal bag has a DC Fix backing. Al's leaving card and present done in an afternoon! (phew). Al's leaving do at Ye White Heart.

Music collections for SA DRIIIIIIIVE. Dinner with Di and Me at an Ethiopian restaurant in Denmark Hill was amazing. (Zeret kitchen)

Ahhhhhh and another one!

Fantastic weekend with my girl! Another warm weekend, even with the rain. Lazy Saturday morning with Sudoku, the Evening Standard crossword, fooling around >:-) Breakfast of shortbread biscuits, followed by a 3-hour kickboxing session with my new pads! Hungry House Thai after dashing out for wine, repotting the little chillis. Giving Johnny Greenwood and the Ozzie orchestra a miss. Blue is the Warmest colour and a bottle of red! Hoovering up spiders and smoking out the window. Sunday gardening and making preparations for my cymbal bag. Short Kentridge-inspired animation - first draft not great, but i have plans for the next iteration. The girl is off to NYC! Mudskipper reunion drinks in Richmond. Wednesday night sewing while chatting to Esh. Snowboard video edit creeping towards the end! Cymbal bag ready for part 2. Metro moderate sudoku done in 4 stops. I love Random.org.. Successfully changed work trousers from US size 6 to 4 using trusty Bertha Jones. IT'S CALLED A SHAWL COLLAR!!! Friday night in bed early with flu :(

Do not go gently into that good winter

Drumz with the boys on Saturday morning - great session. Cancelled other plans for the day (foodie festival with the housemates and a house party with the Silver team. Lunch in Tottenham Court Road, Brazillian restaurant and 2 glasses of wine. Asleep by 8pm. Beautiful gift of a Sunday - hot, sunny, BRAAIWORTHY. Made a fantastic spur-of-the-moment Prawn and Butternut Thai stewish thing...

Butternut, oiled with chilli paste and honey - braai in the skillet; Courgette and onions, oiled with chilli and coriander, add to skillet; prawns flavoured with coriander, chilli and garlic paste, and sweet chilli sauce, added at the last 5 mins to skillet; Remove from fire, and prepare red thai curry paste into a sauce to pour over veg and prawns; DEVOUR

Animation project phase 1 complete...

Il Barbiere di Siviglia at the Royal Opera House after dinner at Sophies! Impromptu shopping spree on Regent Street, and PingPong dinner afterwards.

"Oh I can't be bothered" preview show at the Soho Theatre with Da&El - absolutely beautiful.



BFI bar with IC and SJ - SO MUCH red wine :)

Ouch fcking ouch

Insane tournament weekend, pushed to physical limits! Cock-up with rooms. Fantastic team breakfast, one game won, team supper with salad by H, Cards Against Humanity! Lame school dance at the student union, sleep! 8 games in total over the weekend, DRIVING in Audi A1!

Wednesday night Med chicken 2.0 with turmeric - fantastic. Mel's peach / apricot cake for dessert. Order of Service for Ams' uncle. Refund from Leicester Uni. Squash league match against Ozzie Jerome. JB has twins!! Thursday drinks at the Jam Circus with M. Meeting AJ's boyfriend Co in Teddington with RH and JH.

Doing crossword puzzles by phone

The weeeeeeeekend baby!

Gardening! Sewing! Braaing! Playing drums!

Su over early on Saturday morning - long chats while mowing the lawn and making food - saffa chicken and butternut on the braai. Then crack out the sewing machine and work well into the evening with a glass of red. Reading bracelet :) Sunday morning finally oil the wooden garden border out the front, and then do the long-awaited second coat on the deck. Back to sewing - two custom pillow cases for my tempur pillow. Lots of other items fixed. Some drums, with my new cymbal. Plans for a cymbal bag underway.

Sunday evening cooking Spanish chicken for two with parsley from my own garden :) So easy!

Ingredients 8 chicken thighs, skin on and bone in 3 onions, thinly sliced 2 tsp paprika zest and juice 1 lemon good handful parsley, roughly chopped 150ml stock 1 tbsp olive oil

Method Heat oven to 190C/170C fan/gas 5. Put all the ingredients into a large, wide ovenproof dish. Mix everything together with your hands and season. Bake for 45 mins, stirring the onions after 20 mins, until the chicken is golden and the onions tender. Serve with rice. Recipe from Good Food magazine, October 2009

SUPERHOT game is addictive...
My first squash league match! Took one game off my opponent :)

Streetcar named Desire screening of the play was out of this world. Free diet coke and Topcorn. Wednesday off work cycling in Richmond Park! What a fantastic day, taking photos in the half-mist. Fingersmith part 2. ESH NEW JOB INNIT!

Car booked for the Leicester weekend... :-O

Paul Temple and the Conrad affair :) Band practice and packing for LEICESTER. Haircut... Asked for Roxette, got Sam Smith! D-:

In the world: Scotland votes 'no' in the independence referendum

Blackout back to light

Team Sweet Spots in Slough for LTGP weekend softball tournament! Barbican Digital revolution exhibition Sunday evening with The Lady. Billy Holiday revealed unexpectedly... Stiffness in the bones, but i feel so healthy! SJ's leaving present finalised and sent off - delivery fail on thursday :(

BLACKOUT with the Raiders Black Team on Wednesday night, Sh party crashing and a mafia talk. Or 3. I am just happy to be allowed to try again.

Oscar Pistorius verdict, guilty of culpable homicide, and firing a gun in public. Cleared of all other charges.

SJ leaving party at Tapestry - die-hards catching very last trains home.

Friday evening squash training by myself to prepare for the league I've entered... :-O Finally handed in my DKNY watch to be fixed \0/

Su's mom's PHONECALL!!

Bam

Naomi in Kings Cross. Took 4 games off D to win for the first time since we started playing squash! Arm-wrestle with housemate M - VERY close! She won though. "At least worth wondering about" T-shirt finished! Freezer party!

And then, it happened. Feels a bit unreal, actually, but how familiar... SP operation, Aunty Beulah passes away.

Fingersmith part 1. Su's mom's email!

I feel changed

Changed by the weekend, changed by my resolve, by the Sarah Waters book, Reading Festival, the rain. I also feel aimless.

National burger day at Sophie's in Covent Garden with D and M. Caramel ice-cream dessert. The total surprise of realising that it's my anniversary.

Sarah Fucking Waters Yes.

Friday with M at the Barbican Digital Revolution exhibition - absolutely awesome. Dirty Burger afterwards in Shoreditch.

Pink spiders

Band practice with a new song being hammered into shape. Dead mouse in the studio. Planting my Phlox and daisies, first apples from the tree cut-up and frozen for LATER. Drink Monday evening and the IKEA desk. Leaving drinks for SF at Ami. Playing squash with D after a G&T and 2 cigarettes is NOT a good idea.



Dinner with Su in the new sushi place on Southbank, and her revelation about her mom! Band practice at mine, and another song taking shape. Friday READING FESTIVAL - on my own. Daunting at first, but turns out to be amazing - probably because of Queens of the Stone Age and having someone look out for me till I got safely home. Also saw Brody Dalle, Vampire Weekend, SUBTRKT, an upcoming new alternative band, and introduced to Paramore. Met Jack from Brighton group Crisis Warning.

Down the Valley of Realisation, Up the Hill of Clarity

Edinburgh festival. 4 hour jam session with Davidx2 in Tottenham Court Road - absolutely awesome. Back to the Future Secret Cinema. Trying desperately to feel better. To get out of this cycle.

Finally scaled One Tree Hill. Clarity... I asked for clarity, and here it is, arriving piece by piece like guests to a party. Robin Williams :(

Played squash against my inner demons and won. Must do it more often. Place booked in the Raiders tournament in Leicester!



How is it possible that no single decision I'm making feels right?? Lesley's mom :( Thursday Vodka Revolution night with IC & SJ.

In the world: Robin Williams dies

Stars

Painted stars on my ceiling. Billy Holiday painting is done! Planning a sculpture. Meeting prospective house mate, band request from Halina (mel's friend). Orange is the new black season 1 done. Bought more flowers for the garden. Sue brunch in London Bridge. Back to the future outfit sorted.

Sunday softball fielding clinic! FEAST street food festival with M in Tobacco dock. Godfather with live orchestra booked!

Monday chat, notice period extended. Some relief, but the deep sadness remains. Considering Bupa's mental health councillors. Tuesday off - Homebase shopping trip, flowers, garden stuff. Braai prep and the feast that followed! D's lamb rack superb. E might be moving in :)

Hung Billy Holiday up for now. Painted more stars, and hung up the corkboard I finally bought for my room. FINALLY BOUGHT AN OFFICE CHAIR! (That stupid second hand shop was finally open!). Drummed.

Raiders quarter finals with JP, GB and SuJ supporting! 14-14 draw in the last innings, then playing 2 sudden death innings before TMW scored a whopping 7 runs to put us out of the league. Great night out with the team.

Oscar closing arguments. Squash with D. Orchestral performance of Andriesen's De Staat (inspired by Plato's Republic). Drunk with the housemates. Rossini booked :)

Peter merely said: Any kind of love is alright

Hosted my own private drum show in the dark. Even got excited when my song came on, as if I didn't have the spotify player control. Drummed like a demon. Hand is sore now though :( along with the rest of my body from squash (Closing in on Dan though... 11-8 D, 8-11 A, 11-9 D, 11-7 D, 11-6 D, 11-6 D, 13-11 A, 7-11 A, 11-2 D, 11-3 D). Nan's Order of Service booklet done for first review.

Funeral booklet sent to printers in record time. Second shit day at work. Revelations... after a park visit in the sun. I will not be a victim any longer. Poker night awesome with DB and MA. Drawn up the advert for MD's room. Coffee shop dude and plans of a band...



My "meltdown" lol
Friday Nan's beautiful funeral, coming home to garden, paint, FINALLY HANG MY VINYL COVERS! Made the SF PRAWN TACOS MOFO. Stylist book club with Sarah Waters booked!



Notice handed in...

Goodbye

Saturday finishing the angel painting. Nan leaves for good, peacefully. Evening with Mel in Shoreditch high street. Blackheath final performance of Count Ory. Mel, Dan and Sue in the audience, drink afterwards at the Railway pub. Monday evening Dev squad with the black and silver teams. Tuesday evening piano recital at St Martin-in-the-Fields with Esh. Broken hearts. Trying to breathe underwater.

Wednesday evening house meeting, D will be leaving. Thursday off. Painting, chilling, chatting to dad, making food, visiting the Rye. Further insight into SP's mind... I don't know how I feel about it yet. Friday visiting Ams, meeting her friends. Goodbye to the MetroCosm :( 

Busy week...

Chat with mom, chat with Ouma. Orchestra fantastic. Feeling what it's like to be congratulated for something you really don't agree with. Is this what all the Shanes of the world feel like? Walk home after Sunday's rehearsal.

Softball dev squad with the gang, was going to be a great catch then birthday boy decided to take it and I end up with another injury! Got my team shirt, but I reckon I'm out after this season... Tuesday and Wednesday performances! The boy Isolier :) SJ on Tuesday, J from the office on Wednesday. Drive home and the deluge of thoughts. Wednesday off to finish R's painting.

Thursday Raiders match! Made a good catch, and a bad throw. Scored a point. S to support! Drinks afterwards with very friendly team friends.

Friday performance, Nan.

CIAO ROMA, ciao bella, ciao amigo...

Rome. Travel Chaos. World cup football. Wimbledon. Hitting a retrospective slump at not having seen any Italian art this weekend. Vatican queues were far too long, no Pieta. No camera anyway because I forgot my battery. Dropping Sue's fish on the floor, arriving at the airport 3 hours early, delayed on the tarmac for another hour, battery dwindling. Missing the entire epic men's Wimbledon final. London is cold in comparison to the 30 degrees of Rome. Train stuck at New Cross Gate for 15 minutes, arrive home and accidentally drag in two streaks of mud with my bag, then realise i've THROWN AWAY two of the gifts I bought. Awful storm cloud of luck follows me around well into Monday.

Monday evening greeted with roses at my front door, delivered by mother nature :) Champagne cork conversation with SP amidst a frank conversation with L and battle-texts with Esh. Snotting all over myself on the lawn on a beautiful, quiet evening, surrounded by my fairy lights and flowers.

I'm in love:



On the positive side: I spoke Italian and French. I know more French than I think. Rome was hot, and I have a slight tan. I saw the Colosseum. I have some great photos. Had epic pizza while watching the football with hundreds of good-looking italians in the square on a warm evening.

Brazil 7-1 crushing with the housemates and D's super lamb burgers.

Count Ory rehearsals going well! Wonderful evening surrounded by musicians, actors, the choir, stage directors and creatives. Discovering that opera is addictive. R's mom's angel painting started.

Quiet please. Play

Wimbledon! The Queue! Strawberries! Champagne! Rain! \0/ Blackheath rehearsal Sunday and the conductor saying I did ok! Oscar trial resumes. R and A in Clapham J for GBK and red! F's Fireman Sam birthday card :) Other paintings and planned paintings. Difficult conversations that actually bring relief. Packing for Rome! Conversations well past midnight. SA flights BOOKED!! Friday Colusseum! Peckham Rye multi-storey car park and the view over London.

The better week

M's birthday braai was awesome. Garden neatened and decorated with fairy lights and balloons, fantastic food - burgers on homemade buns, potato salad, jerk chicken, lamb chops, veggie skewers , copious amounts of rum punch,  and JENGA! Sunday Count Ory and a little stroll by the river in London Bridge. Writing out my life story. W with coffee cupcakes. Video editing on Tuesday off after 8:30am yoga class at Southbank overlooking the City. Drilled holes in my planters, started the painting. Ordered canvas for R's mom's painting, making drawings and planning layout. The Harringtons after work on Wednesday for a sleepover, lots of talking. Learning things about SP. Sore neck. Thursday drink with L and then home to cook with the housemates - such a happy house! Friday.

Making decisions and sticking to them. At the end of the day, I know I'm getting there, albeit slowly. Even if no-one else agrees, at least I'm not trying to kid myself anymore.

Resolutions

Shakshuka for breakfast at Harry Morgan in St Johns Wood High street. Travel with S to Hampton Court to meet an old friend. Great afternoon sitting in the garden. England Italy match with D and M back at the ranch. Waltzing with Bashir at Southbank, accompanied by the Philharmonia orchestra. Reading about Valentina Tereshkova. Two necessary evenings just being at home. My friend RH's sad news again. Banners for the YCN. Wednesday Violent Femmes with S after dinner at the Pitcher and Piano- AND OH MY GOD THAT WAS BRIAN VIGLIONE!!! I SAW BRIAN VIGLIONE LIVE!!! \0/

Latitude ticket listed.

England vs Uruguay game in The Vault in Waterloo - absolutely epic. Massive screen, cheering fans, so much noise when we scored. Street food and ping pong. Walking through the graffiti tunnel - now I know where it is again!

Friday off work is very welcome, despite banner work before 8am. May have lost weight, but not trusting the scale just yet...

Rock me, Joe, on this Blessed night

Wonderfully humid Saturday morning. Chatting to Oumies on her new tablet. RSL balcony being sorted at last. Count Ory. Watching Pixies under a Durban weather sky - killed by ten million pounds of sludge from New York and New Jersey. Tapestry for non-alcoholic drinks. First strawberry from my birthday plant tasted alright! Howling Bells euphoric blues. Actually divulging details of my love life to my mom for the first time. Wednesday off. Productive, restorative. Video editing, banners and Premiere Pro FTW! Drums! Saving my strawberries...



Raiders game on Primrose Hill, shout out to spectator Sue :) 3 home runs from the team! Running for Mel. Dinner at S's, watching some of the first football match of the world cup. Mussel pot with S at Belgo in Camden.

Punch in the face

Trying to read Game of Thrones faster than the tv episodes. Sidcup Symphony Orchestra performance in St John's church. Sidcup is a dive, but the evening was worthwhile. Walking through the graveyard reading gravestones and listening to birds adding bits to a random Scottish dance hall happening in the church hall opposite the church. Missing you. Trying not to. Trying to be with myself. Gardening. Planted the daisies amidst the foul smell of fox. Edward the hamster.

Sunday batting clinic awesome. Softball to the face. Blackheath rehearsal went very well! :) Dull ache all the same, all the way. Evening braai while mowing the lawn; yummiest burger.

Monday considering ending my contract. Finally understand the full appeal of Imgur as a drug to cure depression. Quiz win revoked due to an administrative error. D's welcome veggie chilli supper. Finished GOT book 3. Still nowhere near the tv series. Starting to plan M's braai.

Drinks with Ams. My gran is on Facebook! Badminton with Dan and Jack on Wednesday,  Sue coming to watch my Softball match and then dinner afterwards! Drinks with I and SJ at the spotted horse in Putney.

My attempt at making the prawn noodle salad from Cafe VN - not too bad.

Rough starts, broken parts

Dinner with Sue on Friday night at PQ. Saturday rainy and grey, housework and chores. Little walk to the office furniture place - closed. Bought little flowers instead (daisies and impatiens). Slugs in the garden. Blackheath Halls on Sunday morning to listen to the director of Rossini's Count Ory explain his vision! Exciting :) Finally found a direct bus route. Mowed the lawn, oiled the deck. Late lunch with Mel at Jam Circus. My head is clearing. I thank the universe for a bit of stability amidst the mess. Found the most beautiful gardens (Brenchley Gardens)! Phoned mom while walking through.

Knowhow cloud backup 100%.

My new favourite place to sit: on my windowsil, facing the other way, watching the rain through the trees.

Finally watched East Palace West Palace. Courtrai crew dinner at Sodo with Jack. Smoking outside with M. Sidcup Symphony Orchestra and the 1.5 hour trek back home.

OMG I ACTUALLY WON THE QUIZ FOR MAY!!! \0/

Friday night. Tapestry with Ben. Good morning Vietnam. I start understanding - really understanding. Project Orange and proper goodbyes. Nothing is certain, but the choice has been made. It's me now - and I have to make it work. Alone - really alone for the first time ever.

Tickets booked to Rome with Sue.

Biiiiiirthdaaaayyyyy

Early Saturday morning start with Ocado and squash with D. Walking almost all the way back home! Gardening with D, chilling out on the couch watching the FA cup final Hull City vs Arsenal. Meeting up with J and Esh at the Clock House in Dulwich. Hunting for food an eventually finding a GBK at 23:00! Saturday BRAAI!! Epic sunshine, awesome friends and great fire, pool for the kids, Sangria, coleslaw, chops, chicken, boerie, potato salad :) Music! Expert mojito cocktails, happy happy drunkenness :) Surprise outing at lunch for coffee and cheesecake, people watching in the sun in Richmond. Long walk through Richmond park, drinks and Kerplunk! at The Forester in Hampton Wick, Dinner at the Albert near the park :) Passing out tired and happy. Sent Celeste flowers :) Softball match against the Bulldogs - 24-21 loss, but I caught someone out! The flying pig, The actress, The bishop.

Talk geek to me

Saturday morning in bed with Esh, suddenly burning to understand binary, hexadecimal and base notation... making sums and getting it right! \0/ Drums, video editing. Eurovision and the bearded Conchita. Z's birthday and the whole hog. Zizi's and the difficulties of relationships. Up and down up and down. Christopher the Saint. More video editing. Birthday party organisation!! Softball practice in the rain and TWO RUNS HOME!! (Not home runs... yet) IC's first leaving do at The Loft in CLJ. 2-4-1 cocktails and American diner food. On an absolute roll with the quiz. LONDON RAIDERS BLACK TEAM WIIIIIN! 26-8 :) Organising the braaaaaiiiii. London Bridge with L and bags of toys and biltong. IC's flashcards, leaving do at the ship till midnight. Kissing goodbye at the station

The unfolding, the undoing, the untying

Whitstable on Saturday for a surprise birthday on the beach with bubbles and balloons, volleyball, boulles, paddle and ball and a whacky little game involving miming. Strawberry Hill braai on Sunday, lying on the grass, playing with the boy, being with my girl. Kickboxing on the Rye in Peckham on Monday, pub crawl all along the best of Dulwich, catching the last ridiculous moments of a Liverpool vs Crystal Palace football match, trying a quarter pint of beer. Lying on the grass some more! Sudden opportunity to reveal a secret, and the massive repercussions that follow. Tuesday of total misery and some stupid mistakes. But none as huge as they could have been. Learning a lot about me, experiencing a world I would never have thought to. Taking advantage. Learning. Growing. Fat boys and the smell of Tenbury by the sea.

BACK IN THE LEAD for MAY! 3 points YEAH! Night out with Ben and the digi gang.

It's quicker to walk!

Said the rasta man on his bike to me at the bus stop at midnight waiting for a P12

Saturday of huge emotions and decisions. Sunday braai and red red wine. Monday. John's leaving do at Bodeans, Voting in the saffa elections in Trafalgar Square. Lunch with the fabulous Roz, BOOK OF MORMON! Important text conversations and a possible glimmer of light. Back home, then pingpong at The Old Nun's Head with Mel and Dan. Making up rules, running around the table playing in 3's and hosing ourselves. Possible breakthrough out of a bit of a dark tunnel?
1 point in the new month's quiz puts me IN THE LEAD! \0/ Hillarious attempt by both D and LP to help me in exactly the same question from the week before!

Contraddictive.com reads like a chapter in my own life.


Another walk over Honor Oak Hill in the night air after an impromptu pub quiz at the Old Nun's Head where we DIDN'T COME LAST.

Gravity

Moonwalking, snowboarding, goPro, IT problems and solutions, lots of conversation with mom. Space suit awesome, fantastic weather, Finding Nemo clips and Family guy. Snow melting. Wipeouts, 3 JUMPS and the half pipe.

Crashing down. Innocent question followed by a deluge of uncertainty and doubt. I'm so sorry. I don't see how else to have approached this. I am broken and I need to heal.

So much talking, and then not enough. Tignes Le Lac, 4.5 hour NEVER ENDING FRENCH AGM. Resolution to learn French. Meat fondue with red wine.

Learning how to use SASS and killing it :)

Made the London Raiders Softball team!

Unplanned awesome

Susan and Tate Modern and red wine! Joan Miro and Salvador Dali and Picasso. Walking and talking. Unexpected braai! Flavoured flattie and melktert :) Softball! Unexpected picnic! Banners for Johnny.

OP trial resumes. Netball pub quiz with Mdskppr. Some more unplanned awesome with an impromptu trip to Homebase! Gravel! Flowers! Miscellaneous! Catching up on previous blog posts with pics. Unplanned wine at the tapestry, semi-confessions and cautious steps forward. IC :(

Meeting the rest of the gang at the Mulberry bush. Waking up with my girl to coffee and toast in bed, getting to work on an optimistic outdoors list around the house.  Front garden cleaned, shrub trimmed, wire buried! Back garden in the glorious sun, charcoal on fire, Esh mowing the lawn, lamb chops and butternut on the braai, savannah in hand, amazing. Quick snooze before meeting the gang again. Sharon's house. Unexpected evening together \0/

In the world: An estimated 276 girls and women are abducted and held hostage from a school in Nigeria.

was this all Just One Week??

Haircut with B in Colliers wood and meeting lillte Christianko. ROZ'S BDAY in Twickenham! 10 minutes of Softball before injury :( Jo & O's :)

Oscar being cross-examined.

Flowers by the Thames on the way to jazz in the crypt. Finally riding the new retro London bus! Moving my room around. Night out at tapestry and then clapham junction with LP. Touch typing.

Taking the decision to go 4 days a week.

Friday night Project Orange! Foosball with Fi, IC, SJ and Lucy. Good morning Vietnam with the last 2 survivors.

Cabin pressure. Chinese restaurant in kingston with Esh.

Cosmic microwave background radiation

2 Braai's in a weekend, SOFTBALL, flu and 2 days off.
Parents considering divorce. Falling asleep to Chambers on BBC radio. 3 Saffa submarines. Listening to mom play the piano for hours. SeaHeart.
Tannie S house :( Astronaut jacket, flu. Date night at Fat Boys!

Liquid Ambar

Astronaut jacket, garden, Liquid Ambar tree making leaves!

Ritzy Picture house with LP to see Wolf of Wallstreet. The long string of events that lead to knocking over a bottle of white wine in Tesco, having to charge phone and get a cab back, only to break my front door key in the lock. Freezing cold. Locksmiths, arguments, flowers.

Goodbyes that feel like hellos

Sarah's move out of London. Sunday in Peckham Rye park with a Caribbean totem pole. Drink in the sunshine in the bar. Oscar trial. Impromptu squash night at the Kingfisher after a rough patch regarding princely emails. Bernard's email. The London Raiders social and SO MANY NEW PEOPLE. No Holtz Planets concert. NHS blood test results all fine. Real Greek with Sue! Watching The Love letter with Ellen.

SUN!!

Weekend with Roz, Jim, Finn and Sarah. AllOut manages to get Orange to pull their ads from homophobic newspaper in Uganda! Oscar Pistorius trial continues. Jen Brister preview gig. Prawn and courgette pasta - lesson learnt: adding flavour (like sauce) to prawns allows you to taste them better. Blood tests in New cross. Squash at Crystal Palace. SP's leaving do.

PANCAKES

110g flour	mix together
pinch of salt
2 eggs
200ml milk	mix together and add gradually to flour mixture
75ml water
dash of melted butter

Turner and the Sea at the RMG. Pancakes on Sunday! Pancakes on Tuesday! Astronaut jacket has arrived! Listening to VI Warshowski. Doing Kakuro White belt. The music is so beautiful it hurts. Tapestry with the girls. Dentist. Games arcade!!

In the world: Oscar Pistorius trial starts

Christmas in February

手を取り合って　このまま行こう
愛する人よ
静かな宵に
光を灯し
愛しき　教えを抱き

Olivia's birthday party in Peckham, Overdue christmas lunch with the gays at Banana tree in Clapham Junction. First normal conversation with mom in two weeks. Learning about Alice Herz-Sommer. Monday night goin' over to Susan's house. Curry night in Brick lane! Chloe birthday party. Finished the Encyclopedia of Early Earth. Reading Quantum Theory.

Undiscovered worlds

Planetarium show at the Royal Observatory, the view over Greenwhich, Thames Clipper with red wine. The conference call with mom. Taking courage. Speaking in bubbles. Singing. Panda T-shirt! Finally taping down the extractor pipe outside, cutting the creeper on the neighbour's apple tree. Butternut soup INSIDE the butternut. Sunshine and warmth to counter the shaking. Colette's t-shirt started. Kenilworth and some rest, finally.



But not for long. I derive great comfort and grounding from listening to my dad's music.

Awesome design and HTML work amidst all the upheaval. Last night of fencing. Bodeans awesomeness. Lord Peter Whimsey. Surviving.

Daytrip to Hackney

Wes Anderson's Rushmore at the Hackney Picture House! Hackney! Garden! Library! Sign Man Objects complete - some refining going on. Miss Marple, a Murder is Announced... doc appointment, divorce proceedings. Ladies and gentlemen, from Los Angeles, California, The Doors!! Chris' work leaving drinks at Soba in Richmond. Ellen Page out!

Out of this world: The Olympic Winter Games held in Sochi, Russia.

Jazzzzzzzz

Srawberry Hill, new solid state drive and the fucking separation. Teddington is nice! JAZZ AT THE GRAPE AND GRAIN with Dan and Ellie - fucking amazing. Learning about Jane Elliot. Monday morning is almost a total write-off. Grit teeth and keep going, one thing at a time. Citizens Advice bureau. Day improves. Jen Brister in Conference. Esh interview. SIGN MAN. Drums after two glasses of red is really smooth!
Watching Bill Nye debating Ken Ham. Sheen library DVD section looks good. Fencing! Solicitor's advice and a possible new direction... massive transfers and a late evening sorting through stuff to keep.

In the world: Phillip Seymour Hoffman dies